FIFTY SHADES OF WHAT!?

The other day, I happened across Fifty Shades of Gray.  I watched the plot develop to the point where Christian was rushing to rescue the drunken girl from her co-worker who thought she was way more interested in him than was actual fact.  Christian planted a fist in the guys face and hauled the woman home where she promptly puked.  I channel surfed.
Later that afternoon, I stumbled onto Fifty Shades again only it was the very end, the couple standing at the window of his penthouse apartment watching fireworks in Seattle. Fade to black.

Perhaps I will stumble over bits and pieces of the middle, perhaps not.  This reminds me of how I often viewed TV when I lived in Barrow.  It was Alaska time zone there and the network feed was from Chicago which is Central time, four hours different. I got off work at 5 pm and prime time was over by then.  So I would catch the end of a program, maybe a beginning, eventually part of the middle.  I did not have a VCR in those days and did not go through the torture of setting up a recording. 

Regarding Fifty Shades, I have reached the stage in life where I would prefer skipping ahead to the plot rather than all the panting etc.  I read books like this as well.

I have some books that go on for six pages of striving and thrusting.  Lots of silken covered steel, lots of gasping, clutching, moaning, groaning etc. In the trade this is known as purple prose. Fifty Shades also deals with a bit of Dominance and Submission.  Personally, I never found the appeal and I NEVER understood the reason, the dynamics and so on.

Until I came across one of my werewolf romance books.  Lauren Dane has written several volumes which revolve around a pack who live in the northwest.  They all have day jobs, have blended into the population well.  Humans know and often work with wolves.

The book called Wolf Unbound is about the relationship between an enforcer she wolf and a human cop.  Both enjoy going to a private club were they can meet partners for mutual satisfaction in a safe environment.  They get to have special equipment just like Christian. 

Here is the part I understood, the lady wolf possessed the strength to tear her partner apart and he knew this.  So she had internal satisfaction that she could break out of any situation.  In normal human on human interactions there is a trust factor that is part of the agreement and enjoyment for all.  Not my cup of tea.  

 A friend of mine is a romance writer, she says writing the sex scenes is torture. Well, Hell, leave 'em out.  The plot and lots of snarky flirting will usually carry the day.  The absolute best line of conversation that I read recently was the manly man talking with the woman's five year old and reassured him,"I always thought my dog's name was Get Out Of The Garden."

I like Lynn Kurland and all of the Scottish time travel books she has written, heavy on plot, medium to heavy flirting, marriage and the morning after, the story gallops along.

One thing I have never understood in the average sex scene is this; the woman usually attains the big O almost instantly, she never chafes and when the man punishes her by making little circles on the clit, she never goes numb, gets bored or  shoots him.  It's a mystery all righty.

I have a favorite Canadian author, Viola Grace, who writes all about women in space.  Besides the very clever plots, there is usually sex.  These woman have all signed contracts to reproduce at least one child.  In some cases they must have surgery to um ...fit.  If the scene calls for tentacles, it is very tasteful tentacles.  And it does not go on for six pages because most of her novellas are about 86 pages long.  She is an automatic buy when her books become available.  

WOMEN...IN..SPACE... Go girls!!