I was listening to the I Heart Comedy station and thinking that I could speak on the topic of things that change when you get old.
Assuming that my audience is composed of aging whitish folk the following may be true.
Do you know that hair falls out in some places and actually grows in other unexpected place? Yep, the hair on your legs, arm pits and hoo hah actually calms down quite a bit.
However, the hair in your eyebrows may turn into a luxuriant bush that requires a buzz cut. Likewise the hair in nose and ears tends to begin exploring the outer world. Eyelashes have thinned but a person could get magnetic fakes... Really!?!?!
Occasionally you may get a very hearty pubic hair pop out of the top of your head. This is due to one lone hormone setting on migration. Militant plucking can alleviate this event.
Women's mustaches and beards become more aggressive requiring either a daily shave, wax, plucking, heavy make up or the extremely modest burka. I vote for the Japanese rubber facemask myself.
Vision is another thing, I think I have discovered something to cure stage fright; poor vision. Just push your glasses up on top of your head and the audience fades into the night. Of course you do run the risk of not being able to dodge the occasional rotten tomato or see the edge of the stage. eeee
Another thing about vision that I just realized recently. All my life I have been very near sighted. As I have gotten older my prescription for eye glasses has gotten to 400 over something awful and I must either rely on large print, or Kindle scalable font or taking off glasses to squint at the small print. However, now when I read regular print without my glasses, I can read it perfectly without squinting but must hold the text fairly close. Ah me.
Maybe my book collection has not gone to waste after all. sigh.
Assuming that my audience is composed of aging whitish folk the following may be true.
Do you know that hair falls out in some places and actually grows in other unexpected place? Yep, the hair on your legs, arm pits and hoo hah actually calms down quite a bit.
However, the hair in your eyebrows may turn into a luxuriant bush that requires a buzz cut. Likewise the hair in nose and ears tends to begin exploring the outer world. Eyelashes have thinned but a person could get magnetic fakes... Really!?!?!
Occasionally you may get a very hearty pubic hair pop out of the top of your head. This is due to one lone hormone setting on migration. Militant plucking can alleviate this event.
Women's mustaches and beards become more aggressive requiring either a daily shave, wax, plucking, heavy make up or the extremely modest burka. I vote for the Japanese rubber facemask myself.
Vision is another thing, I think I have discovered something to cure stage fright; poor vision. Just push your glasses up on top of your head and the audience fades into the night. Of course you do run the risk of not being able to dodge the occasional rotten tomato or see the edge of the stage. eeee
Another thing about vision that I just realized recently. All my life I have been very near sighted. As I have gotten older my prescription for eye glasses has gotten to 400 over something awful and I must either rely on large print, or Kindle scalable font or taking off glasses to squint at the small print. However, now when I read regular print without my glasses, I can read it perfectly without squinting but must hold the text fairly close. Ah me.
Maybe my book collection has not gone to waste after all. sigh.
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