BECOMING A WOMAN

 It has been several decades since, but when we lived on Pine Creek, Dad was working on the Hells Canyon Dam project, Mom decided that I needed to be informed on what was to come. She gave me a pamphlet and told me to read it.  Ok.  When I was finished, she asked me what I thought.  I just shrugged, I was eager to go back outside and play with everyone else.  I pretty much forgot all about it.  In middleschool, all the girls had to go watch a film in Health Class.  Again I failed to understand any of it.  Did not ask my girlfriends what it was all about. I was eager to go check out a book from the study hall library and lose myself in tales about teenagers and horses.  I do remember reading the directions on a box of Kotex and while it said the pad could not be seen.  I thought the pad went across the stomach and thought it would be a dead giveaway to lumpiness.  Eventually, I got my first period.  I hollered at Mom who came into the bathroom and showed me where the pad actually went and how to hook front and back with the little elastic belt.  No big deal.  Had a couple of crampy periods but over all went well.  Learned to check for leaks before leaving the house, etc.  Still did not realize that Mom was also experiencing the joys of woman hood.  Could have been a bonding moment.  Later on, I learned all about Tampax and I did not feel that I benefited all that much from the experience.  My girlfriend, Judy, did not remove the cardboard outer cover and found it to be painful.  Oy!  In the mid sixties and later, I was on birth control pills.  I adored knowing exactly what Wednesday when I would get my very light period. That nonsense went on until 2005-6 when menopause occurred.  Yay! Never had a hot flash or cold flash.   Just stopped, Hooray me!!!  If I had ever had a daughter I hope I would have informed her and talked with her to say it would be all right.  The one time I complained to mom, she just said it was the nature of the beast.  Thank you so much. And perhaps injected a bit of humor.  I wonder if there are tasteful yet amusing jokes about menarche.   One day when I was a senior, I came in and Mom had the sewing machine set up.  I looked at the pattern and it was a maternity smock.  I asked her who that was for and she grunted ME.  I did not say anything but I should have hugged her and said, you will  love this baby, he will keep you young running around after him.  If you are worried that I might be thought to be pregnant and going to live in California. well you just march that  belly all over town to show them what is what.