Thursday, December 14, 2017

Stand up schstick

I have been contemplating a stand up comedy routine, not that I would actually get up on stage...unless it was for a bunch of senior citizens. 

I would speak about something I have noted in the aging process that just started in the last couple of years.  Ever since I got my little old lady skin, I have noted an extra sprinkle of dandruff.  Surprisingly I don't have it in my hair....or maybe that comes along in a couple of years. 

It became alarming to me couple of years ago. I was going to physical therapy for arm exercises and when I got up, there was this huge poof of white flakes expressed through my pants...an actual cloud!  Both my therapist and I were surprised.  I then began to apply lotion religiously but to no avail.  I heard about Mae West using Vaseline as part of her beauty regimen and I have tried that.  It works for awhile but if I don't apply it, I get sock dandruff, pant leg dandruff and shirt sleeve dandruff. Oh and face dandruff but I am sort of used to that and apply Vaseline routinely for that. 

I have begun to avoid black clothing.  I only wear it on a one time basis for public appearances.  I have adopted gray.  I have a nice warm gray sweater worn over gray green cotton shirt and gray sweatpants.  That clothing also allows a certain degree of camouflage. 

I would like to blame some of this on Climate Control and secondarily on Trump.  Our El Nino has given us a very dry and SUNNY winter.  Extra dry, dry, dry.  More skin drying up.  A side effect of all that sunshine is driver disorientation  We Oregonians do better in gloomy conditions.  All that sunshine strobing through the trees while driving is causing migraine headaches and driving into completely sunshine/black shadow corners is very dangerous for all oncoming traffic in both directions. So in the meantime we pray for better distribution of the routine moisture and a miracle cure for body dandruff.

G'night Folks! You've been great!!!

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