LIMERICKS

 I can only remember three Limericks: The first one is from Barbara Whelan. God Bless her, I miss her she was a wondeful.

First; Under the spreading chest nut tree, the village idiot sat, amusing himself by abusing himself and catching the stuff in his hat.

Second was: A young lady named Jill, tried TNT for a thrill. They found her vagina in North Carolina and bits of her tits in Brazil.  

Third was: A girl from Dekaktur left in a freighter.  She was had by the master, a total disaster, but the crew all made up for it later.  

TELEVISION

 

TELEVISION:

My earliest memories of TV was when we lived in Boise on Clover lane behind the Old Soldiers Home. I remember watching Flash Gordon, Those shows scared me and I would hide in the hallway and peek around the corner. Flash was always in trouble. I also watched lots of Our Gang Comedies. Those stories always had a plot. A granny who is very poor finds out that she gave away her stocks papers to the kids so they could tie them to their kites. They had an adventure following a giant into a cave and discovered treasure. Then someone played truant and everyone else got to go to an amusement park. They were always putting together some kind of transportation involving a mule. At one time of the kids was looking at an artichoke and said, “It might choke Artie but it won't choke me”. Darla was the object of affection by Alfalfa who sang. Spanky was the chubby kid getting into trouble.

Other TV shows were Miss Mary which I found boring. The Merry Milkman was ok. There were not many cartoons. Of course there were lots of I Love Lucy episodes. Favorite viewing night was Sunday there was the Ed Sullivan Show and Walt Disney. One of the favorites was Fess Parker playing he part of King of the Frontier Daniel Boone and Buddy Ebson was his side kick. The merchendise even sold a fake Coonskin cap. We were not indulged. I like the bad guy, Mike Fink who had a long boat which was propelled on the river by pushing oars. I remember a trick rifle shot involving shooting holding the rifle backwards over his shoulder and using a mirror to aim.

The next wonder was that on a trip to Petaluma dad told us that TV lasted all evening, did not stop at 5 pm. Yay.

The most channels Boise had was ABC, CBS, NBC and PBS. Commercials consisted of Ipana Toothpaste, Hiawatha carpets and See the USA in your Chevrolet. Very unlike infomercials and big Pharma. Ugh.

Some of my favorite early shows were Rod Serlings Twilight Zone, The other one and Mission Impossible. I was looking up the stars on Mission and Leonard Nimoy was Paris. I do not remembe him at all.

BOISE STATE UNIVERSITY

 

BOISE STATE UNIVERSITY

When I returned to Emmett, Idaho as a displaced housewife, I had a young son and no apparent aspects. We lived with my folks for a while. I worked in Emmett at the Dewey Apple Orchard. I took an apptitude test at the local employment office. The Masters of Social Work told me that I qualified for three jobs; first was as an OSHA imspector, no thanks people were shooting at them. As a nuclear technician, no I would have to move to eastern Idaho. Last was as a medical records technician. There was a two year degree at BSU. Oh, tell me more. While waiting for school to start, I worked at Carnation potatoe plant on night shift.

I signed up for a small scholarship of two hundred dollars. By the time I registered I had gone from sixth place to first to get the money. That paid for books. I qualified for a Basic Education Oopportunity Grant that pain for tuition. I took a full load. I found a full tilme job at St. Al's in medical records on night shift. I found an apartment near a 24 hour child care center. Perfect. I had lab for biology which was a pain time wise, I was looking for shortcuts to save time everywhere I could. That was three hours a week. I was lucky for medical terminology. She gave new word list and test on Fridays, so Iws able to skip Monday and Wednesday class.

One of my favorite classes was that of Introduction to Western Civilization. The teacher loved psyching people out. The first thing he asked was what grade did we want Huh/

For instance what would we do in class for a grade Perhaps read the book and do a project. Okaaaay. I chose read book, do project. We never even opened the book or took tests. While working in medical records, a doctor asked me to pull a chart for a prisoner who was famous for swallowing sharp objects and then having surgically removed. His path report read in part ….And a partridge in a pear tree. So I decided to contact him to see if he wanted to visit our class room. No he was not interested. It was the easiest A ever made. The grade curve in Biology was such that my B held up well enough to get me on the Dean's List. Woot!

One of my class mates, Elvi Antonssen asked me to house sit. Nice. Everything was working well until my last semester when I had to have three two week long visits to different places and there just was not room for Charlie. I asked Mike if he would take him for my last semester and he agreed. I would be there right after school ended. I chose the VA hospital, Caldwell Hospital, a short visit at a Long Term Care Facility and at Walter Knox Memorial Hospital. I loved all of it. I got Charlie and worked at St. Al's for a few months before getting the director job at WKMH. Thank you everyone for all the help.

BUS RIDES

 

BUS RIDES:

My first bus ride was when I was about two or

 three years old.  I am sure that Richard was

 with us.  Dad was working in Eastern Oregon 

and Mom had to return to Emmett for some 

reason.  So we took a bus.  The main thing 

I remember was when we were nearing Ontario 

there was an over powering smell of onions. 

 Phew!

Next bus rides were the routine school bus 

rides when ever we lived out in the country

 sides.

One very special bus ride was one to eastern

 Idaho to attend the 1965 Basketball 

tournament which Emmett won for their 

division. I screamed myself hoarse.

There was one memorable bus ride when we 

lived near Riggins.  Mom found us a Church 

Day Camp to attend.  Away we went, all six 

of us. One of the ladies thought the girls 

were my daughters.  We all did the macaroni 

and glue art project. I remember some one 

asking about religious preferenes.  Not a

 problem attended plenty of Sunday school here and there.  I am sure the lady was d by my eccumenial leanings.

When I lived in California, my first roommate

 took a trip back east.  She had me take a 

bus from Vallejo to Reno wher we met.  

That was fun. The trip up was unremarkable 

except for a black couple who were drunk and 

argued.  The bus driver finally had them leave the bus at some point.  There are always intereting folk to be found on a bus.

Then I took a bus ride with Charlie from 

Philo,CA to Novato.  We were scheduled for a 

trip to Idaho. We rode on a helicopter to 

SFO and it was noisy.

Before that I was chaperon for Vicky on her 

class trip. We weny from Novato to Disney. 

This was shortly after a big quake that 

brought down freeways.  Once we got close, 

the driver very carefully got to the Happiest

 Place.  It was fun.  I forgot how few places

 there are to sit down in Dinny land.

I got got we had a bus system in Barrow, 

you 

could look on the Eskimo channel to see how close it was.  Hop on drop in a token, away you go!! Occasionally the driver would say where were by saying “ And here is the Blue Hotel. Jail” Every one laughed.  

If I ever hit the lottery I would start a l

ocal bus service for Coquille and to Myrtle 

Point for free. Wheeee.

MOMS STORY

MOMS STORY:

I guess Mom got tired of me talking all about Dad stories.  I had talked about the time he ran away from home at age eleven and took a lenghthy journey, the time he and Carl burned the neighbor farmer hay stack and the time he went AWOL and got away with it.

 So she told me that she once stolen five pounds of sugar. Oh, do tell I purred. She was on a date with some one, not Dad. They had gone dancing. There may be been the itty bitty aount of liquor consumed. The went to the Ola Store.  There was a very bit stack of five pound bags of sugar.  She decided to steal one and put it in her coat pocket...deep pocket.  I asked her what she did with it. She put in her mothers pantry.  Grandma Horn baked a lot. She usually made pies and routinely kept one hundred pounds of sugar and baked bread and kept one hundred pounds of flour.
 

I wish I had asked her if she had committed any other girlish indiscretions. I know that she droppd out of highschool and worked in a bakery an then at the local five and dime, I think it was Sprouse. She boarded with lady who owned the store. She was very independent. The sugar was taken well before WWII and rationing began. I remember her telling me that she was painting the bedroom when they heard about the attack on Pearl Harbor. She said she got her first pair of nylong after she married. Her wedding shoes were leather, brown and heeled. Ellen has them. I remember her telling me that Dad gave her a Pink Kimono which came from Uncle Carl as he had been stationed in Japan. She said she made it into a dress. I do wish she had kept the Kimono. So did she. If anyone has other memories, please share. 

HIGHER EDUCATION

 

HIGHER EDUCATION:

The summer I moved to Petaluma I was seventeen, not old enough to work.  So I spent that time going to Santa Rose Junior College to take placement tests. Unfortunately I could not enroll due to lack of money. I also babysat once with a family who went to Russian River over Fourth of July.  That was fun.  I wish I had volunteered at the hospital with my current experience and gradually gotten into medical transcription. I may have headed for a degree in medical records much sooner.  Once I was hired at Fairchild on night shift.  I was free to attend Redwood Junior College where I took classes on Astrology, Art and Spanish.  

When I returned to Idaho as a displaced housewife I took aptitude tests and the local unemployment office.  The Social worker told me that I had a good vocabulary and would work best on night shift. She then presented three jobs she thought I would excel at.  First was nuclear lab technician. This was located in far eastern Idaho with a lengthy commute by bus to the lab. No thanks. The second option was that of OSHA inspector. Umm people are shooting at OSHA inspectors.  Third was medical records, two year degree at Boise State University, Tell me more.  I applied and qualified for Basic Education Opportunity Grant.  Thaat paid for my tuition.  No books or food.  The books were spendy but I only bought a couple of them.  There was no math requirement.  The rest of my classes were wonderful. Medical record five day a week, terminology three days a week, she gave new words and tests on Friday so I skipped Monday and Wednesday. I aced it.  Biology thrree day a week, lab once a week three hours. Speech three days a week, English three days a week, Medical Law evenings once a week.  Also Introduction toW Western Civilization. The teacher asked us first thing what grade did we want. He love =d social experiments. After a while we understood do project, read book. Well we never opened the book. He loved to have prisoners come in; we had burlary week, car theft week. Then we had a couple come in he wanted a sex change, still wanted his wife and family. He asked what to tell the children, one of his friends said tell them that Dad had died.  NOOOOO. Kids love their parents no matter what.  When I worked at St. Als a doctor wanted a path report on someone.  He was a prisoner who would swalloe items such at razor blades, knives etc. The path report reae in part “and a partridge in a pear tear.”  So my project for class was to invite that prisoner to class but he did not want to do that. I got an A. Wunnerful

When I transferred to Barrow, Alaska there is the Ilizagvik College out at NARL, naval arctic research lab.  They discovered a vast gas field. All the borough owned buildings and apartments were heated by gas.  The dryer were gas as well. I took a couple classes one was film we watched tne original Vampire film with Bela Lugosi. Then we watched the recent Frankenstein with Robert Deniro. We also read a short story about someone heating a pot of rice with a very small fire.  The teacher asked us to write about one of them.  I chose Frankenstein.  It was a lot of fun.  Victor lived happily ever after in The Place of Owls.  HIGHER EDUCATION:

The summer I moved to Petaluma I was seventeen, not old enough to work.  So I spent that time going to Santa Rose Junior College to take placement tests. Unfortunately I could not enroll due to lack of money. I also babysat once with a family who went to Russian River over Fourth of July.  That was fun.  I wish I had volunteered at the hospital with my current experience and gradually gotten into medical transcription. I may have headed for a degree in medical records much sooner.  Once I was hired at Fairchild on night shift.  I was free to attend Redwood Junior College where I took classes on Astrology, Art and Spanish.  

When I returned to Idaho as a displaced housewife I took aptitude tests and the local unemployment office.  The Social worker told me that I had a good vocabulary and would work best on night shift. She then presented three jobs she thought I would excel at.  First was nuclear lab technician. This was located in far eastern Idaho with a lengthy commute by bus to the lab. No thanks. The second option was that of OSHA inspector. Umm people are shooting at OSHA inspectors.  Third was medical records, two year degree at Boise State University, Tell me more.  I applied and qualified for Basic Education Opportunity Grant.  Thaat paid for my tuition.  No books or food.  The books were spendy but I only bought a couple of them.  There was no math requirement.  The rest of my classes were wonderful. Medical record five day a week, terminology three days a week, she gave new words and tests on Friday so I skipped Monday and Wednesday. I aced it.  Biology thrree day a week, lab once a week three hours. Speech three days a week, English three days a week, Medical Law evenings once a week.  Also Introduction toW Western Civilization. The teacher asked us first thing what grade did we want. He love =d social experiments. After a while we understood do project, read book. Well we never opened the book. He loved to have prisoners come in; we had burlary week, car theft week. Then we had a couple come in he wanted a sex change, still wanted his wife and family. He asked what to tell the children, one of his friends said tell them that Dad had died.  NOOOOO. Kids love their parents no matter what.  When I worked at St. Als a doctor wanted a path report on someone.  He was a prisoner who would swalloe items such at razor blades, knives etc. The path report reae in part “and a partridge in a pear tear.”  So my project for class was to invite that prisoner to class but he did not want to do that. I got an A. Wunnerful

When I transferred to Barrow, Alaska there is the Ilizagvik College out at NARL, naval arctic research lab.  They discovered a vast gas field. All the borough owned buildings and apartments were heated by gas.  The dryer were gas as well. I took a couple classes one was film we watched tne original Vampire film with Bela Lugosi. Then we watched the recent Frankenstein with Robert Deniro. We also read a short story about someone heating a pot of rice with a very small fire.  The teacher asked us to write about one of them.  I chose Frankenstein.  It was a lot of fun.  Victor lived happily ever after in The Place of Owls.  

BARROW BITS AND PIECES

 

BARROW THIS AND THAT:

In all of the ten years I never took a sick day.  

The Barrow High School has an Olympic sized pool.  The only pool that a swimmer could train in for the Paris Olympics.

Jury duty was always very interesting. I observed several ways to be excused.  One was to bring a book, read, do not pay attention. You are excused.  Bring lots of business cards, give to everyone and do not pay attention.  Bye bye.  Make a jjoke. Lawyers do not like a sense of humor.  There was voir due question in Nome about bumper sticker.  I said had had no bumper outte here.  The cases I hear were mostly assault and DUI.  No murders thankfully. 

They usually had a craft fair close to Christmas.  The Filipinos made  adobo, pansit.Yummy.  I purchased a beautiful beaded angel pin for my coat.  Lovely.

I worked on the RPMS system, resource patint management system.  Three of usT were sent to Tucson for a refrsher couse.  While there I purchased a pair of burden basket earrings.  Then I had fry bread taco for the first time. Wow!

I loved to order Teriyaki and seven up. The taxi guys delivered it for fifteen bucks.  

Television was from Chicago so prime time was well over by the time I got home after five.  Saw some intereting commercials about black hair care.  One app was good enough to eat.  I asked a black lady at work if she processed her hair.  No her father was Indian. Shoot. I really wanted to know.

The Eskimo station always broadcast Star Trek and the occasional Eskimo dance. Also older.

There were  films about Eskimos making a sled using antler and the runners were large fish inside skins then frozen. When the camped and made the igloo the fish were cut up and cooked in a stone bowl. The kids loved the fish eyes raw.


I tasted whale chittlins, it was crispy like a radish and fainty fishy.

The local folks love TexMex Muktuk.  Seal oil, hot peppers muktuk.  Ok.

The whale muktuk os sliced off with long knives and put in the cellar which are below permafrost and well frozen.  Fresh muktuk is boiled and called unaluk.

Barrow was usually damp.  Means you can have liquor mailed in to consume.  For a period of   eighteen months the town was dry.  My job was to report all alohol related visits to ASRC.  One of the doctors did a study about the results and I was cited as a contributor. Kewl.

Recently the town voted that all liquor would be confined to a space and held two weeks until people could pick up their order.

The taxis were very reliable. One time they called because they were holding a strike  I walked to work and got there safely.  The strike was over by noon.
I purchased a beautful fox fur hat, red with tail. I loved it.  I sold it to one of the taxi guys for fifty bucks. 

They had internet, It was dial up. Husband called them so often he was banned for thirty days.

Yard sales were very popular and especially the teachers.  I had a yardsale and made about eight hundred dollars.  I left the left over in the washroom where ther was a free shelf.

Sold lots of VCRs.  Had to leave a beautiful steel shelf that cost one thousand dollars to ship.  I used it for plants, it was beautiful.  

All veterinary services were free. Bradfor had all his medical stuff done there and we had to put him done.  They were very sympathetic. Bradford spoke Chines when he was warbling away.

Litters were rare so I brought three of Jubiles litter to Barrow.  Two  two one house and one to another.  One one flight the kitten was so noise the jet actually flew faster to Fairbanks.

One time I attended a workshop in Fairbanks, it was so hot no breeze I was temped to sleep in my car.

One time I attended a workshop in Anchorage.  I had to drop the car off and got lost. I finall saw a sign that said keep runway clear. Yikez!!!  Turned around and found the right place.

One time Phil used airmiles to send Mom and Dad to Anchorage.  They checked in before I did. We met.  I had reserved a catamaran to take us on a tour of glaciers.  Did did not care for the food Chicken Tetrazine.  Yerk.  We rode the train through a tunnel it was so much fun.  Then we went to the zoo, the elephants painted and it was stinky. There was also a large polar bear named Binky.  A tourist decided to jump the fence.  He got lucky, Binky got to keep one red tennis shoe. Headlines and picture read, “Send more tourists, they are delicious.”

One evening there was an earthquake about 5.0 barely feel it.  We visited Vivian and Darrel.  It was nice seeing the cousins, one of them was a fisherman and the other drove bus.  Darrel drove the haul road when the pipeline was being built.

My favortite place to camp out was the Hilton and order room service.  One timeit snowed heavily it was so pleaceful  especially with the cemetery next door.  I especially like the coconut shrimp with Becks beer.  Ya!