STAND UP OR FALL OVER?

I was listening to the I Heart Comedy station and thinking that I could speak on the topic of things that change when you get old.

Assuming that my audience is composed of aging whitish folk the following may be true.

Do you know that hair falls out in some places and actually grows in other unexpected place?  Yep, the hair on your legs, arm pits and hoo hah actually calms down quite a bit.  

However, the hair in your eyebrows may turn into a luxuriant bush that requires a buzz cut.  Likewise the hair in nose and ears tends to begin exploring the outer world.  Eyelashes have thinned but a person could get magnetic fakes... Really!?!?!

Occasionally you may get a very hearty pubic hair pop out of the top of your head.  This is due to one lone hormone setting on migration.  Militant plucking can alleviate this event.  

Women's mustaches and beards become more aggressive requiring either a daily shave, wax, plucking, heavy make up or the extremely modest burka.  I vote for the Japanese rubber facemask myself.

Vision is another thing, I think I have discovered something to cure stage fright; poor vision.  Just push your glasses up on top of your head and the audience fades into the night.   Of course you do run the risk of not being able to dodge the occasional rotten tomato or see the edge of the stage.  eeee

Another thing about vision that I just realized recently.  All my life I have been very near sighted. As I have gotten older my prescription for eye glasses has gotten to 400 over something awful  and I must either rely on large print, or Kindle scalable font or taking off glasses to squint at the small print.  However, now when I read regular print without my glasses, I can read it perfectly without squinting but must hold the text fairly close.  Ah me.  

Maybe my book collection has not gone to waste after all. sigh.

I had an interesting thought

BOOK LOVERS ONLY:

I was lying in bed last night listening to an audible book on my Kindle.  Oh, I shouldn't be stimulating my brain late at night? I won't get enough sleep?  Get real, junior. . I retired with a capital RE.  So read, I shall.  

I have been one of those voracious readers since I was kid.  It all kicked in about Fifth Grade.  The teacher required  book reports which I embraced with a passion.  Then in sixth grade I got my first pair of glasses and my then goal became to devour the school library.  

I have never understood people who do not read.  I remember being shocked nearly senseless about 8th grade, one of the boy classmates was bragging about submitting a book report on Carl Yastrzemski and saying that he totally made it up.  It would be interesting to know all these year later if the teacher busted him for it.

I have embraced the tech as my glass prescription no longer allows me to focus on REGUALAR SIZED PRINT, Dang it all.  So my collection of over 3000 books are going to waste.  Unless my vision shrinks to the point to where I can actually read WITHOUT my glasses!?!?! C'mon eyeballs!!

So I paused to wonder about something, "Self I sez, I wonder if there is such a thing as a radio station that broadcast books? :

Oh Goooogle !!

I was surprised that I did not find more: BBC4 had a programme (Brit spelling.) There is KGNU in Boulder, Colorado that has a Radio Book Club.  They just finished "Orange Is The New Black".  I haven't tuned in yet but I think it would be like a broadcast book club meeting and I don't particularly want to hear opionated folk air their likes and dislikes about what ever they are reading. 

I just know that some one will write a Pulitzer Prize winning Broadway play about this, could be comedy, could be tragedy.  Hey, Gang! Let's put on our OWN show!  Someone can sing, someone can dance!  Someone can read!

I want someone to invent Radio Free Library.  PBS must want to do something educational, maybe read Game of Thrones.  No messing around with CGI dragons.  This would be a wonderful service for all the busy people who must relax at bedtime to get some really good ZZZZ's.  All those insomniacs too debilitated to hold up a big hefty book without whacking themselves in the face will gag themselves to get this service. Think of all the lives they will save.

I want someone to read me a story.  If I ask Alexa, she finds a SHORT story.  Dammit!

PS:  I was thinking that Jeff Bezos does NOT have enough money, perhaps he could start an Amazon Radio service.  Just tune in the give a listen to some books.   Make it a service where you can select the book you want read (not the robot voice either) and the time and you can pause and go back to it. Yeah, Jeff get yer people on that. ya?

Well THAT was interesting

This most recent visit to Dr. Kumar was fairly uneventful.  Except he ordered labs as I had not had labs done since late August.

So, he wrote orders and I trotted right next door to Quest labs.  It has been a couple of years since I had gone there because I usually take  my lab slip to CVH near home and if I needed to be fasting it was just easier to do so from there.

When you walk in, there is roomy waiting area with a TV and chairs.  There is a small office for the receptionist.  I sat down and one of the other patients told me I had to sign in.

Oh!  Then I noticed a little kiosk thing with a screen.  It had a big enough keyboard to type my name, date of birth etc.  I eventually noticed that my name popped up on the TV screen;  Roy 4 (and a little clock.

The lab tech came out and took the other patient right in and the clock started over next to my name.

In a few minutes the lab tech came up front asked me for my insurance card, made a copy and disappeared.

In a minute or so, he came out and escorted me to Room #2, Take a seat in the giant lab draw chair.  He pecked away at the computer screen in the office and turned to me and said after insurance my co pay was seventeen dollars, how did I want to pay, cash, check or plastic?  Um plastic please.  

Then he gave me a very slight arm poke and put on a small bandage.  I laughed and told him that this was the slickest thing I had ever seen. He did everything; his job and that of the receptionist.  Who probably got to go on unemployment unless she quickly took a class to become a phlebotomist.  I am unsure if there were any outside phone calls to be answered but I did not hear the phone ring.

I teased him and said I hope he didn't get replaced by a robot. He told me that there actually is a robot about the size of  a twin mattress, but it only has about 80% accuracy.  Creepy.

If I were asked to critique this office set up, I would put up a VERY large sign printed in RED. "Please sign in at the kiosk, Thank you". 

Medea got a studio!

Congratulations to Tyler Perry on his vast new studio in Atlanta.  It has 12 sound stages named after famous black actors.  Mr. Perry is not going to portray Medea in any more pictures after the most recent one "Medea's Funeral".    

I probably sound like the biggest old bigoted little old white lady but I love Medea.  She is a woman who knows her own mind, drives like Nascar and dispenses advice and stories as needed.  My favorite was her rendition of the Hip Hop version of the Christmas Story.  Also I have never glimpsed Mr. Perry at all whenever he plays Medea.  She has great hair!

I was wondering if he would consider producing all three volumes of the book "Island In The Sea of Time".  This is a story about the island of Nantucket that becomes transposed 3500 years into the past.  Coincidentally, the Coast Guard tall ship The Eagle and her crew were sailing in the vicinty when the event occurred.  The captain of the ship is Marion Alston, black, 20 year Coast Guard member and she has on board a full complement of cadets.  They also have one William Walker, a leutenant with an eye for the main chance.  

This is purely a survival tale and how about six thousand people present on Nantucket survive and begin to explore the world.  Fascinating stuff.

There is sword work, as Marion has a katana and has studied the Japanese art of the sword and is expert at unarmed combat.  So is Mr. Walker, the dirty dog.  

If Mr. Perry wants a series as successful as Game of Thrones he would do well to purchase the rights to the books.  At least the author, Michael S. Stirling has FINISHED the series unlike George R.R. Martin who was saddled with the heroine "going crazy".  Pfft!

I would cast a young Grace Jones as Marion Alston.  William Walker resembles a young Robert Redford.  I loves me a handsome villain!! 

This is very swashbuckling.  The Eagle is magnificent.  It has been a while since Hollywood hit the highseas.  C'mon Mr. Perry you could put all of the black actors to work and still run out of people.  
Pretty please read the books and go forth to save the world 3500 years ago.  Thank you.

SATURDY BREAKIES

This morning I wanted an Egg McSumpin' for breakfast.  But I did not want to drive over 20 miles to Coos Bay to do so.

I dragged out an egg, my frozen block of Gruyere, butter, pepper, tsp Bisquick and some buttermilk.  I shaved off about a teaspoon of the frozen cheese.  I got out my one cup glass measuring cup and put in a melted  tsp of butter, dropped in the shredded cheese, pepper, tsp Bisuick and tbsp buttermilk.  Mixed all ingredients brisky.  Cooked in microwave one minute.

I mirowaved the bacon for two minutes, tea water for two minutes. and popped the frozen waffles in the toaster for about 3 minutes.  I assembled the McAlden breakie sammich and consumed my Constant Comment tea with two Splenda's.  It was delish.  Oh yes apple sauce and daily pills.  Erp.

Supposed to be 71 here today.  I think I may have been halluciating the NPR weather report.  Enjoy!!

Some a dis, some a dat

For some time now, I have been watching the Fort Lauderdale web cam.  The camera is located on top of a several story tall hotel and the view is fantastic.  I decided to take a look at this site when one of my favorite authors moved there and who produced several more books.

The view overlooks the 17th street bridge at a fairly narrow point in the harbor.  The bridge also periodically raises both spans to allow boat traffic to pass.  Also there also some HUGE multi-million dollarsized yachts moored there.  These boats never seem to move.  I have seen at least one freighter dock with a yacht perched on top as cargo  Probably didn't want to attempt crossing the Atlantic.  Ya big sissies!  

There is a lot of development in this area lots of space for boats, lots of fancy apartments.  The Fort Lauderdale airport is within distance as well.  I tuned in once and the camera was focused on the airport.  That was the day that there was either false alarm about a bomb or some other awful thing. Lots of cop cars and such.

There are two very large empty fields right along side the 17th avenue area that could hold about four good sized football fields.  This land has remained mostly empty except for some scattered parking.  Yesterday I noticed that lots of equipment showed up to spread a fresh layer of what looks like fresh fill as well as sand.  The next day I saw where a line of huge fully mature palm trees had been planted.  Today more palms have been added to a field next to the first one. I do wonder what is going to be developed here.  So I hope there is land usage regs that restrict building heights.  Today I saw where the palm on more bare are actually being prepared to be go on the other lot.  I notice that about a 40 foot tent/pavilion sort of thing is being constructed.  My guess is either a spendy wedding venue, an art gallery or a big old party.  I will keep watch.  

On a personal front, at my last office visit with Dr. Holland she heard a murmur and ordered an echocardiogram.  I got that done an I actually got a copy of the report before I saw her again.  I have a little left ventricular hypertrophy blah, blah, blah.  Basically he recommended keeping my blood pressure under control.  Okay. I track that stuff.  This most recent visit she said the murmur was much softer.  

On the kidney front, my AV shunt thingie has been declared to be mature and I don't have to return to Eugene until February.  Hooray!  It's a very long drive and I don't drive much any more due to next topic … cataracts.

Got my annual exam by the local ophthalmologist and she declared that the cataract on the left eye was ripe and could be removed.  However, she could not guarantee ANY improvement in vision due to the retinopathy.  I do drive but I am very careful.  My color vision is restricted a bit, sort of dullish.  I mostly just drive to the pharmacy and the store.  I wish some incredibly smart young programmer would write an AI program that, among other things, drives your car without fault hither and yon.   

My tall, dark and blurry specialist continues to follow me at the clinic in Coos Bay with shots of sumpin', sumpin' that keeps that condition from deteriorating.  

Oh and it's 2019 flu season!  Got a flu shot on Tuesday. Do get yours.  Cheers!

episode 7

I continue to enjoy watching Ken Burns Country Music.  Last night it was mostly the 70's.  I was almost completly mystified.  I don't remember listenting to all but a couple of these country singers.  Where was I?  What happened?

Upon reflexion, the 70's was a decade of great change for me.  I met and married the Dougherty family who I adored.  The husband? Eventually, not so much. I was married with a capital M, I was working full time at Fairchild Semiconductor.  The music of choice was whatever was on the car radio.  Didn't listen to much music at home and too noisy at work.  

We spent many weekend at Grandma LaVann's ranch in Mendocino county.  I got pregnant and decided it was time to become a domestic Godess.  I sold the Baracuda back to the folks and bought a bicycle with a baby seat and went shopping that away. 

We wound up living in a small trailer at the ranch and the strains of that move was the final stroke for my trial marriage.  I packed up Charlie and headed to Idaho.

Once in Idaho I spent a while doing small odd jobs and eventually got pointed towards BSU and the Health Information Program.  I did very well academically.  But EVERYTHING was full time; 40 hours a week on swing shiftat St. Al's, full load at college during the day and Charlie getting shuttled between th 24 hour daycare center at all hours.  (They closed shortly after I graduated).  

My last semester was even busier as I had to somehow squeeze in six to eight weeks of directed practice at three other facilities.  I talked the ex into keeping Charlie for that semester. Thank you kindely!  Phew!  

So again, to busy to listen to any kind of music.  By the end of the decade I had completed my degee, moved back to Emmett, took the job managing the medical records department at WKMH.

The program mentioned several artists I was completley unaware of. The only artists with whom I was familar was Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson and Dollie Parton.  I think the only reason these artists were even a blip on my radio dial was the fact that they were top sellers on Country and were cross over stars on Pop.  Well, there you go.  

I didn't even particularly enjoy the first half of the program until Willie Nelson sang "Stardust". ahhhhhhhhh, I got the sniffles.  I think I need to purchase that album.  Thanks for moving to Austin, and going Outlaw, Mr. Nelson.