MY RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES

 Today is Sunday and the weather is perfect blue sky, warm temperatures and right after I post this I am going walkies.

My first religious experience that I remember was when I was about 4 or 5 years old, I went to the First Christian Church with Grandma Horn.  They passed communion amongst the congregation via a two foot diameter tray with dozens of little glasses on the sides and the center held the host.  I was very impressed with this whole arrangement. I asked Grandma if I could have some.  She said no and did not take the opportunity to press for my salvation.  The baptismal at that time was hidden in back of the pulpit and covered by a large blue curtain.  There was a large wooden cross with 100 watt light bulbs in it.  I did wonder what would happen if that thing fell into the baptismal while someone was being baptized.  Straight to Heaven?  I'm sure.

Therein followed a series of Sunday schools and Summer Bible School where ever we moved.  I am pretty sure this was to give Mom and Dad some downtime.

The next most distinguished attendance was that terrible November in 1963 when Kennedy was assassinated.  I went to church with Grandma Horn and by the time we got home Lee Harvey Oswald had been shot and killed.  It was a terrible four day period.

One year Dad had a job working in Riggins, Idaho.  We were transferred from school to that district.  There, also, I and my siblings attended Bible school.  I was 15 and took my three little sisters with me on the bus which they provided.  One day, one of the ladies asked me about my children.  EEEK!!  I explained carefully that they were my SISTERS.   Again, an opportunity for Mom and Dad to have downtime.

After that there was the occasional church wedding including my own.  When I married my first husband, we were required to attend a three week session of marriage counseling.  The nice couple explained very carefully where tab A was to be inserted in slot B.  The day of the wedding was hot, it hit 103 degre

es in Novato!! Hot! Uncle Phil took tons of pictures.  By the end of the reception he discovered that his camera had not worked and wanted us to go back to Our Lady of Loretto to stage more pictures.  Um no thanks, e sneaked out to get a head start on the honeymoon.  That was in 1970.  We went to see the movie "Patton" which I just knew was an Academy award winner.  It won Best Picture.

Earlier I had attended a wedding between my uncle Ralph and his Fiance, Alice.  They were married in the Mormon church in Emmett.  There were a lot of people attending.  I remember being impressed with Uncle Ralph's kiss.  He grabbed Alice and smooched her a nauseatingly long time for a kid to have to watch.  Yucky doodles.

When I worked at St. Alphonsus Regional Medical Center, I worked full time in the Medical Records Department.  This was while I carried a full 12 credit load at BSU to obtain my Associate of Science in Medical Records.  I discovered early on that it was quite possible to attend a class one time per week and get an A.  At any rate while I worked at St. Al's, one nice woman nun person, I don't remember her name, came to work in the department. She was status post chemotherapy for some sort of cancer. She was very funny.  She was assembling a chart one day and exclaimed, "Where in the Hell is the man's drug list!?"  By the end of two months she suddenly died of an embolism.  The entire department attended her funeral.  It was rather fabulous.  

My most recent religious experience was in 2006 while living in Dillingham, Alaska.  My boss, Janice Snow, purchased two tickets to a Seventh Day Adventist women's retreat.  She wanted me to go with her.  I had a horrible cold, coughing my head off.  But she insisted.  So I scrounged about at the hospital and obtained a face mask and took a handful of cough drops.  Away we went, drove out to Lake Alaknagik to Mosquito Point.  There is a town across that part of the lake but no bridge.  One little old gentleman about 90 at the time ferried folks back and forth while he piloted a barge.  He brought the barge to the shore.  Scurried around dropping a couple planks for us to walk up and even grabbed some luggage and food goods. 

We took off down the lake.  He told really old Dad jokes, of which I cannot remember any. But everyone probably heard them in the first grade.  Eventually we came to a small island in the middle of the lake. There was a gorgeous hunting lodge which had been rented for a nominal fee.  We only had to clean up after ourselves.  Got there landed, off loaded everything and schlepped everything into the lodge.

There were enough rooms for folks to occupy and the session commenced that first day.  The lady speaker was famous in the Seventh Day community.  She told us how she came to go from a housewife to getting her Degree of Divinity.  She then launched into her teaching.  All the while I was sitting there coughing my head off. At one point. during a break she came to me and asked me if I would like for her to pray for me.  I was stunned and simply nodded. God Bless her. she prayed hard and begged God to bring comfort to this precious soul.  And then she marked my forehead with oil.  

After that I had to sneak outside to cough, because I didn't want her to feel back that I had not been cured. 

Next morning we loaded up to go back on the barge.  It started to rain and I could smell something funny.  I was wearing a parka with a wolf ruff.  I smelled like dog.